Ever since I started this blog, I've wanted to share my fertility story. Firstly I want to start by pointing out that I am definitely not a Dr (and if I was, I wouldn't trust this sleep deprived brain anyway!)
Ryan and I were married in March 2010 and thought we would start trying for kids in 2011. But you know, we didn't want to stress and 'if it happened it happened'. At that stage I was a little naive about the whole process which OMG did I get to understand eventually....but I'll get to that. I had always had stabbing pains in my ovaries and really painful periods so thought I'd better get it checked out, which meant having a laparoscopy. The Dr assumed I had endometriosis and that was confirmed via the laparoscopy. So I had the surgery and it took a full week to recover (that time around) . This meant that essentially I was all 'cleaned out' and ready for the sperm to make it's way up and do it's thing. They also discovered that one of my tubes was twisted so it would be very difficult to get pregnant when ovulating on that side.
Anyway we continued the relaxed approach and then in August 2011 I was at a friend's child's 1st Birthday and felt I was getting my period. I went home that night and said to Ryan it didn't feel right. It felt different and I felt ill but not in a period crampy way. We went and purchased a pregnancy test and it turned out we were pregnant. But I was bleeding. So what did that mean? The advice was to go to Emergency as it was a Sunday. They took some blood tests and said it was highly unlikely the pregnancy was viable. I was so confused and shocked. I guess I also wasn't expecting to be pregnant as we weren't 'fully' trying.....but obviously when you're having unprotected sex it's possible DUH!!
We were fortunate that the sac just passed naturally and no surgery was required. For the next couple of weeks I felt so strange and sad about it but I knew it was such a common thing - especially early miscarriages like that - most women would have thought it was a late period. We remained positive and just put it down to bad luck. We then went onto have three more early miscarriages which honestly was so tough.....the more we tried, the more we wanted a baby and each time it happened there was that voice in my head wondering what we would call him or her, or what sex it was etc etc. By that stage we were all over the ovulation kits and sex became something that was purely to impregnate me (to be blunt). By now it was a year and a half of trying (we also had a few breaks for holidays and to take the stress off ourselves). And anyone who has been through this will understand by that stage it's very hard to hear a pregnancy announcement....you are of course happy for your friend but inside your heart is sinking.
In August 2013 I had another laparoscopy to clear everything out - the Dr said the endometriosis had returned badly - it was a 3 hour surgery. Luckily this time the recovery was short. By now I had switched to a new OB who also specialised in IVF and Fertility. I felt I was in a 'one stop shop' should we need to go down any other avenues. We put a plan in place that we would try for 3 more months after the laparoscopy before considering IVF.
On boxing day 2013 I swore to myself I would not do another early pregnancy test and just wait for my period......yeah right! I was at our then holiday house in Yallingup and I remember Ryan was outside with my family and I called him in to show him the positive test. We hugged and were excited but scared after already having 4 miscarriages. We called the OB in Melbourne who said we had to come in urgently. We were in Country WA so that wasn't going to happen. He advised us on what to do in the short term and we went in straight away when we returned to Melbourne.
For 12 weeks I injected myself every day with Claxane and inserted Progesterone every night up my you know what.....it wasn't easy but it's just what had to be done. I also vomited for 16 weeks and had severe groin pain...pregnancy and me just don't work well together. I missed being able to exercise and envy those who feel amazing throughout their pregnancy!
Jeez looking back it all seems so full on....and at the time it was. I guess I can write all this down because I know there is a happy ending. It has certainly bought up some emotions I have tried to forget.
The body is an incredible thing. Who knows why it took 3 years and 1 month since that first pregnancy in 2011 for Max to enter the world. They don't 100% know.
I'm sharing this story with the intention of it giving other women out there hope who are struggling. Or read this and identify with what I went through.
As for Jack......he was an accident when we were traveling around Europe. Max was 9 months old. We were on holiday, not stressed and not thinking about it. And believe me, I wanted to punch anyone that told me just to 'keep trying and not stress' BUT IT'S SO TRUE! The body knows when you're stressed. So book that weekend away now and well, the rest I'm not going to spell out for you haha!